Born Again

Reformed theologians do not believe in multiple rebirth experiences. Once we have been reborn we are reborn. Once we have been baptized, we do  not need to be rebaptized. Once we have been baptized by the Spirit we have been baptized by the Spirit. That is not to say that we cannot experience profound spiritual encounters that may be deeply emotional and spiritually convicting. However, I just experienced my third rebirth.

It was not a deeply moving spiritual experience, it was biological. My first rebirth came during a worship service in Northfield, OH. The second rebirth came in a hospital room at the University of WA. This third rebirth came on the 8th floor of the Karmanos Medical Center. My stem cells were transplanted into my body.  I would not have any WBC to fight infections or platelets to clot and to stop the bleeding of a wound. It is like a rebirth because without that transplant I would either die of an infection or the loss of blood from a wound.

The transplant is rather anti-climatic. Several nurses all stand around while on nurse takes a bag of stem cells, thaws it and hooks it to an IV. They used 4 bags and the transplant made me very cold. The cells are stored at -450F and thawed before they are injected into me but they still dropped my body temperature. I do not remember being as tired the first time as I was after this second transplant. I slept alot today but I still got in my walks. Sixteen laps is a mile and I have done 25 so far. The MDs recommend at least 16. The record is 1,600 laps. The guy my have been in his 30s and an avid jogger.

I am still reeling over the inept game plan that the  Cavs displayed in the fourth period and in overtime. Blatt just may be the first coached fired after taking a time to the Finals. I am a big supporter of him but whoever thought isolation basketball would win was badly mistaken.

Good News

I am in the middle of Round #3 of my treatment. I am feel very good. I do have a decrease of strength and my nerves are a bit testy. You do not want to be a customer service representative for my drug company that makes it a habit to delay processing my medication.

After two hospitalizations my MD reduced the strength of the chemo by 25%. We agreed to go with the stronger dose to see how much I could endure. Unfortunately he now has to back off a tad.

We received some outstanding news today. I had a PET Scan today. It did not detect any evidence of lymphoma. We were somewhat surprised although we were praying for this. We thought that it would indicate minor bright spots, meaning that the cancer was shrinking but a few cells were still present. But to have a normal scan, PTL.

This does not change the treatment plan. I will still complete 6 cycles of treatment and if my body continues to withstand the onslaught of chemicals, have a stem cell transplant in July.

During my first bout with cancer, I was absolutely convinced after the first treatment that God was going to heal me. I have a letter from my MD saying that I had a "medically unexplainable reaction" to the first treatment. It was too good to believe. This time my confidence level has been at a low ebb. I really needed to hear the news of this PET Scan. PTL I know that I am going to need all the confidence, faith and hope to endure the coming months. This is just one small step. The fight ain't over.

Good Friday and Easter

This is my second Easter in which I am also undergoing chemotherapy. The first time I was in a hospital room with 0 WBC. I was on my way to a stem cell transplant. This Easter I get to preach on the Resurrection and enjoy a roasted lamb with Carol and Sarah.

I had a PET scan today. Now I get to wait and wonder for six days how effective the treatment has been. Carol is praying that it will not show any bright spots that indicate the cancer is still active. I have prayed that prayer but my faith is just not strong enough at the moment to believe such radical news.

This has been a good week. I have gotten lost of sleep. I feel stronger. That is a relative term. I can still overwork myself in just a few minutes of activity. The test will be tomorrow. I want to do some outside activities. I promise to rest and drink lots of fluids.

My sermon is about living the resurrection each and every day. It is from Colossians 3:1-4. I believe that we must demonstrate our faith in the bodily resurrection by living each and ever day just as if we stepped from the grave with Jesus.

Sunday Evening

It has been a long day. I preached this morning after my discharge from the hospital on Sat. The sermon, "I love a parade" on three lessons that I glean from Jesus' entrance into Jerusalem. My strength was noticeably diminished but this may have been the result of dehydration.

After the worship service we went to Sarah's for lunch. We enjoy having her in the city. She arranged for us to go to the Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo exhibit at the Detroit Institute of Art. I will let you Google their names. He painted some stunning murals to honor the laborers of the auto industry. He was an ardent communist and described his work as revolutionary art. I would not put any of it in my house, even if I could afford it, but I enjoy reflecting on it every time I go to the DIA. It is powerful in its statement about the exploitation of the worker. I had to take a chair to rest as I listed to the narration of his life and work.

This week will be my recovery week. I am going to get a scan on Friday to see how much of the cancer has been destroyed. I am a little nervous about it. We are praying that the scan does not find any trace of cancer. I wish that I could really believe that God was going to answer that prayer. Lord, help me in my unbelief.

The people in the church are really helping out by making us meals. We are going to get one meal a week. The first came this weekend and its timing was perfect. Thanks everyone.

Florida Miracle

March 5 - Set back

On Tuesday I thought that the worst was over. I went to the office and tried to do some work. I noticed that I could not get warm all day. I figured that it was due to the lack of heat in the church. By mid-afternoon I was shivering. I went to supper with a friend and could barely control the shivering. I never even thought that I could have a fever.

After dinner I went home and took my temperature--102. I was suppose to head to emergency when it reached 100.4. Upon arriving at the hospital I received 4 antibiotics, given in 1/2 hour increments to watch for an allergic reaction. I was admitted to the oncology floor. Things were not looking good on Wednesday morning. The medical team was very negative about my plans to travel to Florida for the family vacation. They did not think that my infection fighting WBC would be at a safe level.

The hospital stay was uneventful, except for the WBC kept going downhill.

On Friday I spent sometime standing in a sunny window meditating. I visualized my WBC multiplying. I also sought God's guidance and offered my petitions. I really expected the counts to improve on Sat, however, they only moved from 70 to 190. It needed to reach 1000. Carol and I began to talk about alternative plans. Sat night I spent more time in prayer and meditation.

The Miracle

I went to bed Sat night a little discouraged. I assumed that under the best scenario, Carol would go on Sunday and I would follow on Tuesday maybe Monday if a miracle happened.

On Sunday morning the Fellow entered my room and announced that my count was 1240 and that I was going to be discharged. PTL

Carol and I had to rush around but we packed and drove to the airport in time to board our flight

March 3 - Recovery

Energy Rising

What a difference a day makes. I was miserable yesterday. My whole body ached, with flu like symptoms. The bone marrow was producing white blood cells and it hurt. A new medication newlasta puts the marrow in overdrive but my body was going full tilt before I even received the shot.

Today started out slow but with some Tylenol and a nice breakfast with Carol things began to turn. I am relearning the importance of pushing myself through pain. When I was in my 20s and 30s, I would run and do this. I got lazy after I passed 60. Each movement yesterday required determination and effort.

Good Intentions Just Don't Make It

I’ve recently been reading Andy Andrews book “The Noticer.”  Great book, claims to be autobiographical but is is a story that is hard to believe.

In it, the main character, Jones, asks a young man who is struggling to change:
“Five seagulls are sitting on a dock.  One decides to fly away.  How many are left?”


The young man answers: “Well… Four.”



“No,” Jones responded, “There are still five.  Deciding to fly away and actually flying away are two different things.”

Isn’t that the truth? This illness is forcing me to decide to do things and doing them to completion. I needed to relearn this lesson. I had gotten sloppy with my life.

The Walls are Shaking

A pump on the boiler in the building decided to spring a leak. We had water spraying all over. Good think we have an inventive custodian, Thanks Dan for your ingenuity.  The heating repair man is onsite. The whole building is shaking as he tries to pump water back into the system.

February - Backtracking

Waiting for the News

After surgery I had to wait for the news on the biopsy. We were expecting cancer but hoping for something less severe. I was actually anticipating the worse. As Dr Terebelo told me the news a deep sadness rested on me. He tried to be hopeful but made sure that I knew that this was an aggressive cancer.

Kubler-Ross talks about the 5 stages of grief. I have found that those 5 stages relate to anyone encountering a crises-denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I think that I was in denial during the fall. The signs of a relapse were evident at the time of my first hospitalization--night sweats. I skipped anger and bargaining. I have been angry at God for other things but never the cancer. I recognize that there is no way you can bargain with God. He holds all the chips. So I jumped immediately into depression. After wallowing around for a few days I had to face reality.

Being a preacher has often forced me to address situation in my own life from the pulpit. (Hopefully without the congregation knowing that I was preaching to me not to them.) This was one of those times. Knowing that I had to stand up on Sunday morning and bring a message of hope to the congregation was very helpful.

The sermon was on the Transfiguration. It was more theological than experiential. It was not about me and my cancer but about the revelation of Jesus Christ. That gospel is a story that is not the creation of human myth and legend. It is a reality upon which gives me strength and hope as I walk through treatment. Those were my thoughts going through treatment. (I'll post the sermon latter. I would enjoy reading your comments about it.)

The reminder lifted my spirits and slowly the depression eroded. As the time for treat approached I noticed a change in my attitude. I am going to participate in the fight. I am going to place my trust in the power of God to heal, transform and resurrect.  I started nurturing a positive outlook that God still has things for me to do for is kingdom on this earth, and if not than to die is gain. (Philippians 1:21)

Get Inspired

The caption to the link read, get inspired or just start typing. Sound advice. I have found again and again that when I am bogged done the only way to get "unstuck" is to start typing. If the inspiration is not present, then the time has come to make the perspiration.

An Abrahamic like vision is not the normal method of God's communication. If you here too many still small voice you may need to adjust your medication. Most of the time, God wants us to trust the desire of our hearts. For me that has not always been easy. My desires are constantly changing. I hear about Project A and my adrenaline starts pumping and I swing into action. I become a 'Martha' . The excitement of a new venture, new possibilities is exciting. The tasks are fun until the tasks become repetitious, deadlines go unmet, help from others evaporates. Then I start complaining to myself, then to my wife, then to anyone who will listen and then maybe to God.

Oh, I spend time at the feet of Jesus. I have studied the art of listening to God. I have a Dmin to prove it. I can find 100 quotes from the spiritual mothers and fathers on listening. I can quickly look up how Baxter, Owen and Manton would have instructed a seeker. At some point in the academic regurgitation I might even pause to take a breath and sit to relax.

It is usually in those periods of relaxation that God really does speak. That is not to deny or minimize the perspiration. Even God only got water out of rock once. We have to be willing to dig the wells to enjoy the refreshment of the water. But we also must sit and pause or we will not taste the waters clarity.

I will not condemn Martha for her busyness. Nor will I withhold praise for Mary. The two are absolutely essential for every one who wants to live in God's presence. However, we must be willing to imitate each one at just the right moments. Marys appear lazy and serve as barriers when there is real work to do. Marthas create guilt, anxiety and tension when people are not conforming to their expectations. Marys must learn when to engage and Marthas must learn when to disengage.

Maybe one day I will learn the secret to both. (Gosh, when I started this blog I had no intention of connecting it with the story or Martha and Mary) The fruit of a little prespiration!

(Gosh, when I started this blog I had no intention of connecting it with the story or Martha and Mary)

Busting with Praise

This week we studying the passage that describes Jesus entrance into Jerusalem. I am going to look particularly at his disciples and their spontaneous outburst of praise as a model for our approach to worship.

Thanks Glenn

I remember when I first read David Wilkerson's story about starting Teen Challenge in The Cross and the Switchblade. Wilkerson had read a story about a group of teenagers who were charged with murder. He believed that God was leading him to talk to the boys. He drove to NYC from PA and sat in the court room when the boys were sentenced to life in prison. Fearing that he would never be able to meet with them he stood up waved his Bible and shouted to the judge asking for an audience. The newspaper photographers went wild. They loved it. Fanatical preacher tries to save the souls of convicted killers. Wilkerson was humiliated on the front page of all the NYC papers. But that humiliation turned into a blessing because he when Wilkerson went to talk to other gang members on the streets of NYC they recognized him. They thought that the fanatical preacher was OK because he was trying to help their friends. This opened up doors for Wilkerson that would have otherwise been closed. The same thing has happened between Glenn Beck and Jim Wallis.

Glenn Beck told his listeners to leave their church if it teaches a 'social justice' gospel. Beck believes that social justice is just another version of communism or socialism. And we all know that those systems are a threat to the American way. Jim Wallis, founder and of Sojourners Magazine, objected to Beck's interpretation of the Gospel and invited him to an open forum to discuss the issues. Rather than accept the polite invitation Beck has gone on the offensive and has viciously attacked Wallis on his show. Beck has really gotten nasty. The beauty of Beck's attack has been the publicity that Wallis has received.

Wallis' views are not mainstream. No, he is not a communist but he does support cutting defense spending, reforming the immigration policies, and the current health care reform. However, he does not advocate for the redistribution of wealth or a a hostility to individual property. Whatever his views, Wallis offers sound Biblical support for them from both the Old and New Testament.

His recent book Rediscovering Values explains how the current financial crisis is really a crisis of values and offers guidance on how we can returned to a value based economy. Beck's attacks have drawn attention to Wallis' book and the Sojourners community. People are offering their support and reading the book. By slandering Wallis and threatening to ruin the reputation of other ministers who preaches a social gospel, Beck has done an outstanding job of rally believes to stand up for justice. His verbal assaults have pumped life into people who had been dormant. Beck's claim that 'social justice' is a perversion of the gospel has also shown his ignorance of the teachings of Jesus.

Thanks Glenn, maybe with the renewed enthusiasm that you have inadvertently inspired, the Kingdom of God will dawn in a few more lives of the poor, disadvantage, widows, and homeless. However, I am not taking the side of the poor just to be against Glenn Beck. I will support causes of justice and look for ways to reach out to the marginalized because that is what Jesus taught and demonstrated in his life. I do hope and pray that others will join me.

Self Interest or the Common Good

This Sunday's passage is about the woman who anointed Jesus with an expensive perfume. The passage tells us that Judas objected to her actions because the perfume could have been sold for a year's wages. That was a considerable sum. However, the author of the gospel tells us that Judas had an ulterior motive. Judas was an alleged embezzler. He was skimming off the top. I say alleged embezzler because we do not know for sure. Judas was never tried and convicted of the crime. However, the point is not to be missed. Judas’ objections were motivated by self interest.

Self interest is a strong motivation today. People have lost the sense of the common good. Detroit is the ultimate showcase of the results of years of political self interest. Politicians have enacted policies and laws to further their own political career, and not to rebuild the city. Administrators and employees in the public schools took advantage of an ineffective auditing system for their own financial betterment.

We always need to be conscious of our motivation and be willing to examine it even under a microscope. Are we against taxes because we want to retain the money or do we really believe that societal needs could be addressed more effectively in another way? Do we favor pro-choice legislation because someone in our family had an unwanted pregnancy and needed an abortion? Do we think that global warming is just a natural occurring phenomena because of the scientific evidence or because to that that it is caused by human activity would require us to make too many changes to our lifestyle?

We can be for or against a cause for many reasons. But we should never lose sight of the common good. We are in this together. What we do in our own backyard will in some way impact our neighbor even if we have a 12 ft fence around the perimeter. Our lives have a certain intradependancy. We cannot survive without one another. We are not and never will be self sufficient. We will not be able to work through the mounting social problems unless we start working for the common good. Unless we do we are nothing more than 21st century Judases who deny their Lord for a few shiny coins.

The Divine Debt Collector

I have been reading stories of the nasty antics that debt collectors are using on delinquent accounts. I am stunned by some of the things that they will do. They go way beyond bills printed on yellow paper and relentless phone calls. Some threaten to set a lien against your house, while others have even camped out in the family driveway. The House in Colorado recently sent to the Colorado Senate a bill to tighten guidelines on debt collection agencies practices. This will give the consumer in the mountain state some additional protection against the unscrupulous and illegal collection tactics of some agencies.

Consider the contrast between the tactics of these debt collectors and our practice of evangelism. Then consider the difference between the two outcomes. The debt collectors are merely pursuing temporal wealth, while we are dealing with matters that have eternal consequences. This week’s story is found in a troika (a Russian term for three) of stories about lost things--a coin, a sheep, and a son. In the first one we find that a woman frantically searches for her lost coin. The second story tells us about a shepherd who abandons his entire flock to look for one lost sheep. Both the woman and the shepherd have urgency in their task. They know that if they are not successful the coin and the sheep will be lost forever.

The stories are typically used to describe the 'frantic' efforts that God employs in His search for us. He does not give up. He goes after us; excuse the pun, like a starving debt collector. He is relentless because He knows that if He does not find us, we will be lost forever. That is definitely reassuring news. In a world that only cares about us for our money, it is nice to know that God cares about us for other reasons. But the stories can be turned slightly and used to prompt us to action. If God pursues us with such diligence, why don't we imitate him in our pursuit of our friends and family?

We prefer the model of the 'waiting father.' Dad patiently allows his son the freedom to nearly destroy his life. Dad does not try to manipulate, cajole or beg his son to return home. He just waits for his son to discover that happiness is not found in the material world. Pleasure that is fed through indulging in physical pursuits has an insatiable appetite and will eventually bankrupt the soul. This is a very attractive model. However, I am glad that God used both with me.

There was a period in my life that God backed away and allowed me to do some really stupid things. It took me a while to realize just how dumb I was. Once I did, he came after me with the zeal of a debt collector but instead of demanding payment he offered his love. We need wisdom to know which method to use with every person. But we also need to be willing to be aggressive when the situation demands a more assertive role as well as patient. Let’s enjoy how these parables remind us of God's love and grace as well as use them as a model for proclaiming the kingdom.

What makes you a better Christian?

This week's sermon was inspired by an article entitled--How the LA Clippers Made Me a Better Hindu? The Hindu idea of karma and Luke 13:1-9 have a connection for me. However, I thought that maybe I should save my thoughts on that subject for my sermon and take another approach in my first new blog entry. So you will have to wait till Sunday to hear about my ideas about karma, this blog will hopefully prompt you to think about being a better Christian.

The author of the Clipper and Hinduism article is a professor at USC. He does an excellent job of showing how his enthusiasm for the Clippers compliments his Hindu faith. What in this world compliments your Christian faith? Varun Soni writes about causality and non-attachment. He explains how victories for the hometown heroes "resemble mystical experiences."

Central to the Christian faith is the idea of redemption and sacrificial love. Sports has several examples of both. Announcers tell us that a player "sacrificed" his body to make a play. Baseball has the sacrificial bunt or fly ball. These may be rather trite examples to the sacrificial act of Christ but they are a start. You should try to think of your own that are more meaningful.

Redemption is found even more frequently in the sporting world. It is the process by which someone takes advantage of a second chance and uses the opportunity for the betterment of himself and/or to help others. Those of you who are fans of "LOST" know all about redemption. Every character in that series has had to undergo some form of redemption. Several years ago Pudge Rodriquez 'redeemed' himself by his contributions behind the plate and in the batters box. The Tigers would not have had that stellar year when they played the St Louis Cardinals in the World Series if not for Pudge. Several teams had given up on Pudge saying that he was too old to play. He redeemed himself.

However, there is a big difference between the world of sports and the spiritual world. In the former and in the real world we have to do the work of redemption. We have to turn the failures into success. We have to use our gifts to help others. In the spiritual world God does thine in and for us through the power of the Holy Spirit. We never have to prove ourselves to God. We never have to experience a probation period before he is willing to extend his love and grace.

Sports can help us become a better Hindu, Buddhist, and even Christian. I would hope that you will look around for other things in your world that strengthen your faith.